Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Negative Thoughts....

 I’m pissed off for many reasons.

It could be because I had a tumultuous break-up from a seven year relationship 3 months ago, or, perhaps, because I lost my cat Nephe which I gave so much of my time and love to.

 I could be angry because I’m now forced to live in the section of town with the highest crime rate—right next to the $35 dollar a night, Horizon “Whore-Risen” hotel (that, according to the owner, happens to be “free of bed-bugs”, thank you very much!)

I become rabid when I hear the sound of a text message, thinking it might be from my new boyfriend, only to be greeted by a Bible verse text message from my mother.  This has been happening every morning for the past month and I don’t know how to handle it.

I could be angry because I have to go to a Starbucks or McDonalds to access the internet or because I lost one of my jobs a month ago. I could be angry because someone stole my car yesterday.

All of this has occurred within the last 3 months. I have many reasons to be enraged right now, but I choose to simply be pissed off.   Did I “cause” any of these misfortunes to happen to me?  Am I getting what Karma must issue out to me? No, I honestly haven’t done anything to deserve this, other than be born and step on the occasional crack. Karma doesn’t exist. It’s simply called, “Life just sucks, deal with it”. 

I just need one more bad thing to happen to me for this to be perfect.  Perhaps my boyfriend of just over a month will break up with me tonight…or, I’ll be diagnosed with cancer or maybe I’ll become paralyzed. I guess the options for pain and destruction are still unlimited—even if your life already seems to suck.


  1. I'm sorry that I can't help you with most of this. But as far as your mother goes, you need to handle this the hard way. (And I call it "the hard way" because telling someone to do this is easier than actually going through with it.) You need to make your mom understand that 1) You are an adult capable of making your own decisions about what and what not to believe. 2) You are an atheist. 3) Generally, you find Bible verses offensive and/or irrelevant. (Or at least I find them that way; you tell her what you think of them.) Sugar coat all this if you can, be blunt if you must, but you need to get it out in the open and make sure your mom understands.

    As for the rest: Here's what seems to be good in your life (from one of your fanboys' perspective). You have a great new boyfriend (who I'm betting WON'T break up with you this evening). You have a solid and increasing youtube following, which shouldn't do your CPMs all that much harm. You have an amazing mind. You still have at least one job, and you're experienced enough to possibly get a second one. And if there is any room for improvement, you have the capacity to improve it. All you need is the scientific method. Just apply that to your problems, and you can find a solution.

    1. Okay, thanks for this message. I understand what I need to do about my Mother but have avoided it. So thanks for the push.

      Thank you so much for the encouragement! I really appreciate your thoughts here. I've got a lot to work on and will continue to improve in all areas of my life.

  2. Yes, shit happens, completely randomly and for no particular reason. But a lot of good things happen by chance, too - it's just that we're not energized in quite the same way by the good things and don't feel the need to dash off a blog post about them, for example.

    But you can make things happen, and then *you* get to choose whether they're good or bad. Pick up a good book, do a rewrite on your resume, see a movie, meet some friends for a drink. The bad makes you appreciate the good that much more, and do enough of the good stuff, and the bad disappears into the background.

  3. Let's see......
    About your mother, you could treat it like spam off your email. that is delete it without thougt. You could tell your mother that you have a Bible at home if you want to look something up. Then again lying to your mother is not good advise.

    If you can't expand your other job to full time there should be other part-time jobs like Starbuck's. You standing behind the counter alone should increase business. They have to be crazy not to hire you!

    Car. Granted I never had one stolen but hang in there. Work out something with either your boyfriend, relative, friend for transportation. When you are ready find a simple use car that can get you from A to B. If you know someone who is a machanic ask him/her to come along to check quality.

    If I can assume you got your place to live as a immediate response after your break up then maybe start looking into other places that are in a better location at a good rate. Maybe with any room-mates that are offering. Granted that last could be iffy. But you are going to college. many students would post around campus or craiglist roomates to help keep cost low for each.

    As for internet, I go to OU's computer labs for all my internet needs. My computer has never been connected to internet. i use it foe schoolwrok, games or mainly watching movie (I don't have a T.V.). In some way this is good. Some people spend to much time on the internet or any form of modern technology.

    If any man breaks up with you, most likely they have a problem and they do not deserve you in the first palce. Next one needs to go through a seriosly gauntlet of some sort to see if they are worth it.

    I hope this helps. Sorry for all the half attempts of poor humor within a quick write up of moral support(which I really mean). Remember, DON'T STOP IN REACHING YOUR GOAL IN LIFE!

    Hey guys, any advise on what she could do to help her, please try. Any info on better places to live, job availible, car dealerships in her area, bring these to the table for her. Let's give all the support we can.

  4. You know, you don't have to get into much, or any, of a confrontation with your mother. Those texts shouldn't be driving you rabid - that's probably happening because you're feeling fragile, with low emotional reserves, right now, and the last thing you need is drama with your close family. You could either just ignore them, or smile inwardly, and get on with your life. A couple of things to consider that might help:

    First, consider her motivation: she's undoubtedly sending them out of love for you and concern for your welfare. She thinks she's cracked the Big Secret of happiness and eternal life and she probably wants to pass the big news on to *everyone*, let alone her daughter. A lot of us might think it's a Big Fraud rather than a Big Secret, but if any of us thought we really did have the Big Secret, we'd be yelling it from the rooftops, too.

    Secondly, remember she's only human. A lot of religious people, especially, think that people can be perfect - they're sure their god is perfect and that people will be, too, if they'll only accept their truth. In reality, people are highly fallible: they run out of strength, they run out of energy, they run out of brains to work things out; we can't know everything, we can't personally test the truth of every proposition and so we do end up taking some things on trust or as the best we can figure out given our limited abilities - i.e. "it works for me". So she's got something that works for her, and she hasn't - yet - figured out that it doesn't work for you. Meh.

    So you can either make allowances for her, or present this to her as an exercise in mutual respect for each others' beliefs. You'll respect her right to the beliefs she has inside her head* as long as she will accord you the same right. If she wants to try to proselytize at you, you *could* do the same to her, by pointing out the absurdities of Leviticus, etc. Of course, you're highly unlikely to convert her, just as she's extremely unlikely to sway you.

    Me? I'd just smile and delete the text while thinking, "She means well, bless her heart". I wouldn't get offended, although I can understand it must get ... well ... wearying. It's a bit sad, albeit bitter-sweet. I think you can rise above them with a mature response that will reinforce your own confidence and getting you thinking positive thoughts again. Good luck!

    * Of course, this is the sticking point for us atheists: people's absurd belief in supernatural interference with the natural world would not be an issue if they wouldn't insist on then *acting* on it - because then they start to negatively impact on the lives and rights of other people through activities such as voting. But that's a whole other topic. . .

  5. You could have been born in Ethiopia... I have been down and out before, you don't have to be positive all the time. Use your anger to get back up! That is what I did! If you have energy use it. Either way it will bring the positivity back to your life. Good Luck.

  6. Your mother sends you bible verses? That's grim.

  7. If you want to talk about it (privately) just send me an email.


  8. Renee, This is your guardian angel, St Anthony, in a cave in the Indian wilderness. Macey says she can't handle you and is not willing to take you back. Sorry, Renee, but I tried. I bid Macey farewell with the Four Tops hit single 'Walk Away Renee' at www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu5ynjOlnOg. Okay Renee, your Mum's only trying to help you, but doesn't know how. Beating an imbecile over the head with a Bible is only going to make them more of a lunatic. By the way, forget all the advice from frustrated pagan male droolers - they will only drag you down with them into hell to burn in torment forever. Okay Renee, this is the lowdown, my name is Rev Dr Anthony G. Pike (UK), Markapur, A.P. 523316, India E-Mail cosmicrf@hotmail.com appointed by God as your guardian angel. Yer, that's right, you've been chosen whether you like it or not!! P.S. A google search of my name/email will dig up plenty of shit on me and a photo if you want to know who the hell I am. N.B. All questions on any subject will be answered in full via E-Mail. AGP, 18th Oct 2012.