How I make Money on the Internet, (Satire)

 "How to Get Rich on the Internet"

(Satire Advertisement)

Tired of slogging through your days working long, arduous hours as a janitor or cashier? Are you sick of being financially dependent on your girlfriend or parents? Have no fear! Research has shown that due to the insatiable human craving to be rich, simply writing up a “Get Rich” advertisement on your blog will dramatically improve your odds of becoming rich. Why? Inside everyone is a mathematically-challenged lottery ticket consumer. Everyone naturally wants to become rich.  Once they spy your catchy blog post, they’ll inevitably click on it, hoping you can offer them advice on becoming rich. You won’t of course; you’ll just proceed to taunt them with what you’re trying to sell. Also, you’ll make a passive income by way of people clicking on your blog.

For the sake of this advertisement, let’s consider the history of all these “Get Rich Quick” gurus and how they’ve acquired their own wealth. What’s their secret, you ask? The secret behind all of these get-rich-quick gurus is that they’ve written books about getting rich or conducted seminars offering “Strategies on becoming rich”.  Here’s the clincher: every “Get rich quick” book is a cleverly disguised way of helping the author get rich, not you, silly. After all, whose the one buying the book or piece of software that will inevitably be stowed away in the crevice between the sofa cushions?

So how can you achieve your goal of becoming rich by simply writing up a simple blog advertisement about becoming rich? Here’s where the trick comes in. Instead of offering your potential patron advice on becoming rich, point them in the direction of your best selling book. The book doesn't have to be anything witty or densely packed with a step by step plan for wealth attainment. Instead, it should have lots of vague verbiage with heapings of obscure jargon where you blather on about “positive thinking” and “reframe your thinking” and “look at every failed opportunity as a learning lesson” and “diversify your stocks” and “make everything automated” “develop a passive income” and "find ways to achieve a positive net cash flow with rental properties” and “start a budget”…you get the picture.  In no time at all you’ll have penned out a novel that you can transform into $29.95. Give the consumer enough of the same tripe they've already heard from every other “get rich” book they've ever read and they’ll instantly credit you as being a financial guru in whom they can trust.

 What's next, you ask? The rest we leave to the glorious placebo effect. The person feels better after they've read your book, making them feel as though “They've done something” and “They’re on the road to wealth”---and you just made $29.95 off their desire to become rich.

Get rich today! Make sure to purchase our book entitled “How to write a catchy blogpost about becoming rich” for $29.95!