I recently stumbled upon a quote, “The greatest hurdle to fortune is the desire for safety.” This
quote was brought to my attention as I was reading through a magazine. A big business
tycoon was offering some of his insights as to why he thought he was so
(monetarily) successful. I began to contemplate this thought. As I thought
about it more, this quote really seemed to ring true.
After all, one major reason so many of us keep from pushing
forward with a project or idea is fear; the squelching, suffocating feelings of
fear that can consume us and can ultimately inhibit our progress down the path
of success.
What type of fear is this? It is the type of fear that tends
to arrive when you find yourself stepping outside the boundaries of your
comfort zone. When you realize…hey, wow…what if I take this step, if I make a
move in this direction? You immediately become aware that this safe-sense that
you have in your person—your ego—could be compromised, assaulted, hurt,
diminished, never to be repaired again. You could even be looked upon as a failure. For some reason, we think of "failure" as final.
This is a very fatalistic, do-and-die perspective. It is
this notion that if something causes injury, it is permanent. If someone says
something about you, you take it as a set-in-stone analysis or an irrevocable evaluation
of who you are.
We all want to be safe in that we want the core of
ourselves—our sense of self, our ego—to be protected from the scorn and
derision of others. I guess the reason why we care to protect the central
aspect of ourselves—our identity—is the same reason why we want to protect our
physical body. We care about our (physical) survival. Our ego must care about its survival too.
Why people choose to pick on others or find ways to inflict
mental pain on others is one question. The bigger question that I ponder is: why do we even care when someone picks at
us or insults us? Why does it feel bad when a group of people that we
interact with physically every day tends to ignore us? Why are these things
psychically/mentally painful at all? Perhaps these experiences feel bad because
the other individual's appraisal of us—our worth—is less than what we happen to
think about ourselves. This grates against our ego and we feel pain. The pain
is obviously not a physical pain as when one abrades the skin, it is more of an
emotional pain.
It seems to me that there are only a few options that one
can take to keeping our ego afloat midst the efforts of other egos who are only trying to bring us down.
1. Just say “Fuck You”.
My life is already insanely short. I’m not going to let you ruin what little
time I have to enjoy my life.
2. Surround yourself with people who are worth your time and
who you can gain knowledge from.
For the millionth
time, I’m not writing about any particular personal experience I've had. I was
just letting my mind wander after reading a quote from a magazine.
I see that some of you have shared this! Thank you Lorne, John and several others of you! I really appreciate this!
I see this as using similar tools for different jobs. Children belittle others mainly for their own amusement of watching others in emotional pain. Adults in the business world are afraid of those that can cost them profits and end up losing their jobs because of it (or at least their reputation). It is much easier for both to take the easier route of putting down that person then the noble way of helping them improve themselves. Either they don't know better or know how to. The patterns are the same but the reasons are different. Those who endure this and become successful, are those that tell the next generation how to do so. They help the who can't become those who do.
ReplyDeleteExcellent words here John! You really summed this up perfectly.
DeleteI have my moments.
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