The biggest, most significant thing I’ve learned since
having a baby is the value of time. Time is an extremely important resource.
I’ve always recognized this—just so much more now. For brief moments during the
day I will check my facebook or learn something online; and this is only
because I am lucky enough to have a readily accessible I-Phone at my
fingertips.
What I specifically miss most about my pre-child existence
was having the time to learn and write. Sure—I was still busy with tons of
housework, volunteering at the hospital, yard work and travelling with my
husband—and being terribly, terribly nauseas from the pregnancy—but I had MORE
TIME. I found myself researching things on the internet, reading, indulging in
knowledge…attempting to learn. I guess I never realized what a privilege and
luxury it is to have time to learn or sharpen my creative skills. I never
thought about the fact that my own Mother had to forego her intellect and (ANY)
novel learning activities because she was so busy trying to maintain a
household, constantly cleaning up after us, raising us three children—and we
were all roughly a year and a half apart. She recently told me that there was a
span of about 3 years in the 1980’s where she received less than 2 hours of
sleep each night.
As far as not having enough time…the irony is that I now
feel like my mind is flooded with great ideas—but at all the wrong moments. I
have ideas just spontaneously pierce my consciousness and I think “I need to go
and write that idea down so that I can address it in the future” but I almost
never have time to even write down the reminder.
I guess I didn’t realize how tough it can be for
stay-at-home Moms. I see why women are joining the work-force in mass and
dropping their children off at day care, paying someone $12 an hour to raise
their children. This is so much easier than having to constantly change diapers
and do laundry and deal with vomit all over your clothing—you feel more like a
janitor without even the benefits of the pay. These career women even get to
maintain their ego—“I have a respectable career and I have a baby!”
My Mom was a stay-at-home Mom. I see why she wasn’t really able to spend time
learning and reading—there is no time to pursue such luxurious, exciting things
as knowledge—every second, every fracking moment you are attending to the needs
of someone else.
So much of my day is involved in menial tasks that are often
repeated several times each hour and the laundry piles up. There are endless
diapers and gushes of spit-up all over my clothes and the baby cries a lot too.
There is a lot to be thankful for too.
I am so happy and lucky to have such a healthy and sweet
baby. She is wonderful! We love her so much!
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