Atheist Pep Talk :)-- Take risks!!

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you did not do than by the ones you did do.” 

Mark Twain

My CAT is NOT a CREATIONIST

Here is a cute video for you that I made a little while ago.

Godidence or Coincidence? Thoughts..

     

       Today as I was driving between school and work I decided to turn the radio on just as I had stopped at a stop light. I was right next to a Sleep Country USA store.  I was mildly surprised that the radio advertisement was announcing a Sleep Country USA sale that was happening the following weekend.   Even more coincidental was the fact that the sleep country radio advertisement took roughly the same amount of time as it took waiting for the stop light to turn green.  Sitting there, I allowed my mind to sublimate on the nature of coincidental happenings, and why, so often, we ascribe such importance--even purpose--to these events.
        Was this special connection between two random events that had “happened” to intercept my cognitive awareness divinely predetermined before the foundations of the earth? Was my experience in some way more special than other experiences that did not happen to have pertinent connections to other random things?
Individuals having a superstitious mindset interpret coincidences into the framework of “everything happens for a reason”.  Events happening at the right time and place mean something not only generally meaningful to life, but are also interpreted to have specific applications to a person's individual life.
We notice similar things that occur together randomly because there is this initial idea in our brains that such events should happen less frequently than, say, dissimilar things occurring together. Obviously, we are going to notice the two similar things occurring together than two dissimilar things (unless the two dissimilar things create an irony).
What did my little Sleep Country USA coincidence mean? Was God trying to tell me to buy a new mattress or something more abstract?  If God is able to make trivial suggestions like that through random happenings, why does he seem unable to help the masses of people, who are, at the same moment, in much greater need than I, experiencing atrocious circumstances?
If there is truly an overarching, divine purpose behind the world, then it means that nothing is desultory.  Nothing happens without a necessary intention behind it.  Everything—every event, phenomenon, behavior, every kick of dust with the foot—behind every random thought of our brains, is the design and will of an omniscient, cosmological agent.   If this ultimate purpose does, indeed exist, it must be pervasive; it must be everywhere, in all shapes and shadows, in every dream and flicker of light, in every amoebic dysentery expulsion.
If, on the other hand, purpose is something that is derived from the individual, and not from the governance of a cosmic agent, we wouldn't necessarily expect it to be in all or in any particular random material display of events. But what is purpose, really?  What we end up finding is that purpose is a normal part of having a brain, particularly a highly functioning brain that is conditioned to look for paternicity in the surrounding  environment.
                  Human experiences are randomized and depend largely on chance.  The decisions we make and how we develop into our personage are rooted to the time and location of our birth, and secondarily, upon the particular views of the family we were born into.  If there be a god it would seem that every event we encounter, everything we see and feel and hear with our senses is a divine occurrence.  Nothing can be random because everything was planned and set into a purposeful flow of motion.
             However, as we observe our lives we notice that the vast portion of our daily experiences are random and can only be interpreted as “meaningful” based on our brain’s subjective interaction with the phenomena.  It is the brain’s sensory exchange with the material world that determines (how it interprets itself) and thus the meaning(s) it finds during its interplay with matter.
Without a brain/mind there can be no special association between random events—and I will posit, without a highly evolved brain, can there be.  Why the brain recognizes these patterns and then interprets them (to make sense of them) is not entirely understood.  Perhaps, in its efforts to survive over the eons, the brain has learned to interpret survival cues from almost everything.  There is a tendency to associate random events or objects that would otherwise be unnoticed.  This process is fomented because these associations would prove, at times, to benefit the survival of the species that efficiently linked the two random events together before they resulted in the misfortune (such as the death) of the individual.
          Nature is beautiful not because of a god in the sky who created it, but, because in spite of the random positioning of matter, our brains can find and perceive beauty from it.

On Being an UGLY WOMAN....

(I wrote this a long time ago so this is OLD but have recently deleted the blog-post of this particular section (an entirely different subject) so I'm adding this one in here to fill in the gap instead of delete the posting entry entirely. The article linked at the bottom of my post is quite interesting as well.

Also, here is another link to one woman who speaks about being ugly:
http://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/15jtld/being_an_ugly_woman_is_terrible/

And another link entitled "What It's like to live as an Unattractive woman"
http://www.pajiba.com/miscellaneous/what-its-like-to-live-as-an-ugly-woman.php

My Personal Thoughts...

Today I am immensely sorry for my existence. As I reflect upon the very large number of deeply pitted acne scars on my face and consider how many thousands upon thousands of hours of my life-time I’ve devoted to thinking about them and working towards improving them I realize I’ve come very few steps closer to where I need to be. I've even had plastic surgeons feel sorry for me and then tell me, "I don't think I've seen so many acne scars on a (female) face before." During my teenage years my best friend's mom said to my parent's, "Well, at least her face looks like that (e.g.scars/acne) or else she might be fairly attractive and go down the wrong path with guys."

Psychologically I’m destroyed by them—if not directly, indirectly. Since their first appearance few classmates would accept me as a friend or even speak to me and acknowledge me.

I became someone that was ignored and when the attention did come my way, it was hostile and cruel and would vocally detail how ugly I was and how ruined my face was.

I still remember vividly all the little incidents in 9^th grade where I was apprised of my ugly existence and how worthless I was. From these experiences I learned to be introverted.

I remember the time a couple years ago when I was working as a cashier at a store and an elderly gentleman, purchasing the erectile dysfunction supplement Yohimbe, asked me in front of a line of customers, “What happened to your face?.  Now that is a very difficult thing to respond to.

When you are a female and you realize that you’re ugly you live very differently than if you’re pretty. Your life shrinks down to the four corners of your bedroom and then, to the prison of your mind.

You can’t get out of an ugly face. You must live there trapped, realizing people really do like better-looking people more. If life is a hierarchy, you are at the bottom. At this lowly position you better hope with every fiber of your being that you have an above average I.Q. because if you don’t, you will be nothing and you will go no where.  As a female, you’re sunk and you will never find your way up, ever.   Aging only magnifies your inherent asymmetries and deformities.

If you are a naturally slower learner and you have facial asymmetry, count on a fairly horrid existence where each and every day you struggle for your own survival.  People will never ask you out, the only males ever to be interested in you will just be interested in a short sexual rendezvous (which they will grimace about later).  Nothing will ever be free for you and you will never have a life-long partner whom you can share a long-term relationship or marriage with.  Let us not forget the advantages of those individuals who have a life-long partner. They will be able to pool their monies together and save. They help each other out through the conquest of life.  The burden is much softer and easier when you have someone by your side.

However, if you are one of those females who cannot attract a mate when you are young, count on fighting against life by your lonesome, especially during the brutal, despairing days of your old-age.

A man will never have this problem because the value of a man is not placed on his appearance and no longer is it even placed on his ability to provide and protect—but simply on his being a man. With the scarcity of men comes value in simply being one.

Alas, with the overabundance of females in society comes the demands for women to not only offer beauty but a decent paying job, a motherly instinct and thousands of other “appropriate” personality characteristics.  My prediction is that the demands upon women will be so high that I foresee women in the future having a higher rate of suicide than men.

I am saddened that I must continually fight with life to keep myself propped up from drowning.  Why must  life’s experiences constantly titillate my ego and my drive for happiness giving me tastes—concentrated morsels of the goodness that exists in very temporary forms and then are removed from me just when I sigh a breath of relief?

One thinks they can endure this but it does nothing to strengthen any of the character qualities and it does nothing to inspire motivation.

Why attempt to move forward if moving forward has always resulted in moving back? I lose more and more of my possessions with every break-up and the time and effort I’ve put into things goes no where.

You may say that I have gone off on an irrational tangent—but I disagree.  My claim is that looks and beauty are the strongest factor determining the survival and well-being of a females and the level of happiness that she experiences.

My claim is that the vast majority of women who have been invited into long-term relationships with the male gender—have, at least during their youth, been appointed with above-average looks. There will obviously be exceptions to the rule.

If you think what I’m suggesting is “You’re on drugs, invalid” consider asking another question, are the vast majority of ugly faced, over-weight women in long-term relationships with very committed men? I would wager not. If you have evidence to suggest that we live in a society where women are rated 1 out of 10 on a "kindness/character" scale and not on a "hotness" scale, do tell me please.

Even a very nice, kind guy isn’t going to go for a woman with an asymmetrical face. Kind, committed men obviously know they have options because the vast majority of women want this kind of man. In other words, from a female perspective there is an exceptionally high demand for a kind, committed man and so he will surely have his choices of the fairest/kindest/ mates.

Wealthier guys seem to have the provider glitz that makes them supremely attractive to women because many women who haven’t scored high paying jobs have underlying fears about their own survival and long-term security.

The website below goes into some of my thinking in better detail.

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/02/sex_is_cheap.html

SEX (not PORN??) makes you SMARTER?

Interesting article I came across yesterday. Since my blog tends to focus on things related to brain/mind here it is if you haven't already seen it. I think it will be something that I want to look more into/learn more about.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/how-sex-affects-intelligence-and-vice-versa/282889/

Bullies, School Shootings, Social Rejection thoughts

WITHOUT FRIENDS NO ONE WOULD CHOOSE TO LIVE-----Aristotle

Very interesting article/video I came across today regarding being bullied. It is about a girl who is bullied because her looks do not conform to what others have deemed "acceptable".
http://www.today.com/video/today/53971923?from=en-us_msnhp

My Thoughts...

When a school shooting or teen suicide occurs we like to focus on issues like gun control. Rarely, do I hear people bring up the topic of social rejection and social isolation and how these two factors are almost always present in the lives of those who have resorted to killing themselves and/or their fellow classmates.

The fact remains, people rarely go out on killing sprees if they are feeling good about themselves, if feelings of happiness and high self esteem are bubbling up from their subconscious and friendship opportunities abound. It is unlikely that a popular student surrounded by a group of accepting peers would have these suicidal or killing tendencies. These factors buffer the growing teenager from the impact and tremendous changes that occur in the brain.

During youth, the prefrontal cortex of the brain is still in its development phase and teenagers are, at the same time, constructing their own identity.  More than any other time in their lives, a teenager is seeking acceptance and approval from their peers. Furthermore, their brains tend to have a heightened level of sensitivity to rejection, to being ignored and excluded by their classmates. Combine this with the fact that the developing teenage brain is more prone to risk-taking, impulsive behavior. While most students will have little difficulty merging into and being accepted by one of the plentiful cliques that high school offers—jocks, nerds, geeks, skaters, musicians, pet enthusiasts—there is bound to be a few stragglers and loners.

My thought is that the stragglers/socially rejected individuals have made countless efforts to fit in with a group, to reach out and find a group of students who accepts them, a group of people who approves of their own emerging identity but… they have been rebuffed and rejected on numerous occasions. This process of seeking acceptance isn’t new for them, it probably started during their grade school and junior high school days. It was during these years that they encountered an impasse to achieving basic peer approval. Perhaps their looks, attire, tastes or mannerisms were deemed “wrong” or “inferior”. At this point, the seeds of despair were planted. If junior high or high school doesn't bode well for friendships or acceptance into a particular clan, these individuals begin to lose hope.  They begin to ruminate on suicidal thoughts, or, their thoughts may take them down the path of action and aggression. This is where school shootings come in.

Human beings have an almost desperate need to belong, to be approved of and accepted by their peers and to form connections with other members of their social sphere. When these basic human needs are not fulfilled, psychological disturbances arise.

Drawing from personal experience related to social rejection, I’ll never forget a girl in my junior high school years. This girl was called names like “fat” and “ugly” repeatedly—almost every day, right to her face! I even remember a very poignant day in 7^th grade where one of the most popular, good-looking jocks in school began kicking her until she fell to the ground. He was even surrounded by a group of very popular boys and girls who were all cheering him on as he kicked her. I happened to be walking by at the time, on my way to the next class. I remember being suddenly overwhelmed with shock that I stopped and began watching this incident unfold right before my eyes. I don’t think I ever felt so depressed for someone in my entire life. Even to this day, I still feel guilty for not jumping in and shielding her. 

 A few years later, I, too, would encounter the effects of the mean, cruel—albeit popular students myself. On the school bus one day in 9^th grade, I was quietly minding my own business reading a book. I was always the quiet, shy sort without a group of comrades at my side.  All of a sudden, one of the popular boys sitting behind me made an announcement to the entire bus about how “I was an ugly crater face and shouldn’t be able to ride the bus because I was so scary.” Everyone on the bus laughed and even chimed in. People began to taunt me and laugh in a sadistic fashion.   I’ll never forget how terrible I felt. I was fully aware of how bad I looked—but being flatly reminded that you are ugly by another group of very popular classmates was almost too much to bear—especially during the teenage years.

On top of this experience, I had a litany of social rejection and isolation experiences. While my thoughts didn’t lead me down the militant path of aggression and violence, I repeatedly entertained thoughts of self hatred and even suicide.  Instead of blaming the group of sadistic peers that surrounded me, I would blame myself and try to change myself to gain some degree of acceptance. These experiences of repeated rejections ultimately turned me into an isolated, introverted person who probably suffers with unnecessary anxiety.

I am almost certain—confident—to suggest that the socially rejected, isolated individual will often go down one of two paths. These are: depression/suicide and/or violent aggression towards others. Being a loner allows for the perfect storm, the perfect place for a mind to brew self-loathing thoughts or intense feelings of anger for those who have caused you such psychological distress.

We as a society help create these monster-mentalities who go on to commit suicide and/or take the lives of others with them. The popular teenagers who reject and ignore the “loner types” are major contributors to this phenomenon. It might be difficult for those who have never experienced the full dimension of peer rejection and psychological pain to understand what such an individual may be feeling. The teenage years are a hard enough time as it is. Add on to this the aspect of rejection and ostracism and we are bound to see some negative consequences.

Studies have shown that once rejected by their peers, a child will have a nearly impossible time in school ever becoming popular or even simply “accepted” again. They are forever blighted with this stigma.

Perhaps we should focus on bullies—not just the “classic” bully-type but also the throngs of popular students who use their powers not to integrate with all students but to form exclusive, catty, even sadistic groups.

Poverty and its Consequences (excellent link!!!)

            

                 Poverty and its connection to depreciating health and criminal behavior is an ongoing interest of mine. Before I stumbled across a very pertinent article today, I was already in the throes of writing this short blog post. Such thoughts have been brewing.

              It always kind of bothers me when I hear people with top-notch, executive and managerial jobs or those with successful careers complain about how much stress they have. I always wanted to say, “Try being unemployed” or “Try working laborious hours as a janitor or cashier where your brain is literally drying up and you’re barely making enough to survive and you have no chances of advancing.” Now that is a stressful life situation. 

             Having a thriving, successful career—even when the pressure is on and you have a tower of tasks to manage and delegate—is still far, far better than being part of the working poor or unemployed. At least when you are higher up on the socioeconomic ladder, you have a better, more cogent sense of being “in control” of your life situation. That is, because you have a better job, you more likely have the funds at your disposal to alter your situation than if you were poor.  Those who are farther down on the socioeconomic ladder are more likely to have feelings of helplessness. Scientific studies are demonstrating that it is exactly this feeling of helplessness that is ultimately the cause of real Stress.

              The lasting effects of poverty on health are being more thoroughly examined. It is incredible how strongly poverty is associated with a variety of human ills. The article below offers a comprehensive view of what I’m attempting to suggest here. It is definitely worth reading in its entirety.  

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/27/status-and-stress/?hpw&_r=2&

             Thinking about poverty and its link to a plethora of problems brought my mind to thinking about crime. For instance, last night I was driving by a gas station and saw the bright flashing lights of a police car, and beside it, 4 young, able-bodied males being handcuffed.

               It made me think about crime and criminal behavior and what combination of life events (or genes?) results in people choosing a life of crime vs. a life of well-intentioned planning, legal productive work and other socially beneficial pursuits.

              I sometimes think that life can be a very hard experience for many of our species (consider global poverty rates). This might surprise you, but many people are not seeking out the fulfillment of their every hedonistic wish, but simply, to survive.

              I think that a person’s motivation to work hard and achieve survival and success within the legal boundaries of society can be chipped away at and ultimately forsaken. If you started out poor with an unstable family environment with less access to educational and employment opportunities and you try a few times to make a  legal go at life (whether it be at a job, starting a business or learning a new skill) and you fail, the motivation to keep on going and pressing forward begins to wane.  I think that this can also lead to a feeling of helplessness and can result in a criminal life-style.

                 As mentioned in the article, the sense of helplessness (brought on by poverty) can be a very pervasive feeling that can result in much life-long distress. A life of crime and diminishing health may just be the results.