Social Rejection and Bullying WORSE than CHILD ABUSE

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/why-its-worse-to-be-bullied-by-kids-than-abused-117704600472.html

 A recent study (above) suggests that it is WORSE to be bullied and/or EXCLUDED by peers than to be abused by adults. Obviously, this shouldn't abate our natural outrage for children abused by adults or make it sound less severe. I just find it interesting that studies are finally showing something that I have parroted for years!

 As someone who never, ever made entrance into any single popular group in highschool (or even an upopular one)—and tried really hard to do so—as someone who never even made it into the auspices of 2-3 close friends during that time, I can definitely identify! As someone who was bullied from time to time during highschool, I can certainly agree with this--especially as I consider my own current levels of anxiety.

See my blog post below where I go into more detail about why I think bullying and social exclusion are so harmful. (Yes, I know this is nothing original, but at least I made sure to mention the factor of social rejection/exclusion here--sometimes people forget this aspect of bullying).

My "Social Exclusion/Bullying" blog post.

Gospel Message is like the Abusive Boyfriend/Girlfriend!!

One of the things that I always found to be off-putting about Christianity (the Gospel in particular) even as a child was the suggestion that I as a human being was somehow “sinful”, or  “wrong” in some manner. This is the idea that there is something fundamentally in error or “corrupt” about my person or nature.

I would listen to my Pastor every Sunday. I would listen to my Sunday school teacher about how marred, imperfect and sinful I was as a human and I would reflect upon this mantra on a daily basis.  I grew up thinking this way. Now I find myself detesting this kind of thinking—this style of thinking that presses itself upon my brain and makes me feel lowly and unworthy. This kind of thinking that teaches you to hate who you are—your personal characteristics, the way you think, your mannerisms and every minutiae of your person that you have little to no control of anyway. The Gospel message is like the girlfriend or boyfriend who psychologically abuses their partner by telling them, “You’re only good with my help/advice/support…you only can be good/worthy/important because of me! You’re only good if you could just be like me!”

I have a problem with the gospel message in the same way that I have a problem with other human beings in society who arrogantly tell others, how awful or “wrong” (i.e. sinful/imperfect) they are. These are the individuals who always resort to giving advice to others about “how they should change their mannerisms, style of dress, personal quirks/characteristics” simply to align with their own subjective preferences. It is one thing if an individual is committing crimes that are deserving of a prison sentence, it is an entirely different thing when a person is admonished by someone’s thought-policing; that is, when someone begins interjecting their own subjective standards on others to make them feel “not good enough”.

STOP SAYING "PEOPLE are so STUPID!"

I had to do a really quick blog post on this--because this is infuriating me! One thing I've noticed—time and time again—on facebook, in casual conversation, on various websites, in comments and in so many discussions is a very common phrase “Why are there so many stupid people?” or “Why are people so stupid?”. 

These kinds of expressions have become so old I want to throttle the person saying them. I wish for once that someone would post something like, “Why am I so stupid?” It would be quite shocking and interesting for change.  Everyone seems to think that everyone else is stupid (or, at least most others who don’t think exactly as they do) but not them. Kind of like how Christians think that everyone else is going to hell but not them. This is the exact same mentality. I’m getting tired of it and found another blog on this.

SMART PEOPLE DON'T THINK OTHERS ARE STUPID

MEETING MICHAEL MOORE IN MUNICH

This past weekend my husband and I had the exquisite pleasure of taking a weekend trip to Munich—the famous party-city in Germany.  The last time I entered Bavaria was in 1998. At the time, I was with my family and we stayed in the city of Garmisch. Like the average tourist who visits Southern Germany, we had made a day trip to visit the Neuschwanstein Castle. However, since I was with my family and relatives of non-drinking Protestant sort, we never did make it into the beer-guzzling city of Munich. I wonder why.

My husband and I were looking for a short, frivolous getaway. Thankfully, transportation in Europe is done with supreme ease. Even if you book a train at the last minute, it seems you can still find options to go anywhere—provided you are willing to stand. We caught the Ice train in Mannheim which took us straight to Munich. We even passed through the village of Ulm, the town where Einstein was born.

We arrived in Munich in the early afternoon which gave us plenty of time to explore the city square. Once off the train we walked our way through the bustling train station and out onto the streets of Munich.  Munich is a large city—roughly 150,000 in population. I learned that the people of Bavaria proudly see themselves as almost separate from the rest of Germany—think Texans and the United-States—only that Bavarians are not Protestant Bible-Thumpers.  In Bavaria the locals are patriotic, conservative and largely Catholic.  Their unique cultural heritage is a result of being separate from Germany until only 100 years ago.

Women with model-looking bodies are seen on all corners of the streets. Everyone is toned, youthful, glowing and smiling.

Thankfully, our hotel was located walking distance from the main city square. After dropping off our bags in our hotel room, we wandered into the city center. We passed gangs of tourists and locals all jostling their way into the town-square for Friday-night escapades.  We walked by countless trinket shops and clothing stores specializing in dirndls—the traditional dress of German women. I even found a sushi spot nestled in the heart of the city—not too bad!

I would highly recommend walking by the Munich Rathaus.  Architecturally, this building stuns with richly ornate flare and at times, seems almost gothic. Like Notre Dame, it has gargoyles peeping out from all corners; definitely a captivating visual experience! Also, in the square you will come across several fountains with erected stone statues in the middle. I randomly notice that a Merman statue sits in the middle of one fountain and squirts water at a little boy.

 There are also a couple accessible cathedrals in the town-square that are free and absolutely worth a peak inside!

Munich Rathaus

That night we found our way into the Augustiner Keller and Biergarten—an authentic hot-spot that you must visit while in Munich. Once you enter through the gate you weave your way through the sprawling Biergarten full of Friday night locals all sitting on picnic tables in this outdoor garden. My eyes were grabbed by the variety of sparkling amber brews and assortment of beer glasses positioned all over the tables.

We decided to eat indoors. The beer hall was enormous! We sat at a long, wooden picnic table and then ordered typical Bavarian fare. In less than 40 minutes the beer hall filled up and became a rowdy, cantankerous joint though sans an accordion player. It was a fun place to observe the locals clanking their beer glasses with each other and having a good time.

The next day we made a short trip to Salzburg, Austria. For music lovers, this place is famous for being Mozart’s hometown and for many an American, it is famous for its various scenes in the 1965 musical, “The Sound of Music”.  WE LOVED SALZBURG! It is definitely my favorite smaller city that I have visited in Europe.

In the old town section of Salzburg, Austria. 

The old town of Salzburg is of delightful, quaint beauty. The streets are narrow and the buildings and storefronts are packed tightly together. There is an old graveyard in the center of the old city and above the city stands a fortress (Hohnensalzburg Castle) which we never made it to.

Beautiful graveyard in Salzburg, Austria. The Hohnensalzburg Castle stands in the background.

MEETING MICHAEL MOORE

After our Salzburg day-trip we headed back to Munich. We were just entering our hotel when we saw a group of 4-5 people standing in the lobby, checking in.  As we passed my husband muttered under his breath, “Looks like Michael Moore”.  How random could that be that a famous, controversial documentary filmmaker would be staying in the same place as us? I turned around, taking a closer look and exclaimed, “That IS Michael Moore”.  Michael Moore, hearing his name, turned around and glanced at us. Sure enough, it was him. We made a dash for the elevator. Neither of us are major Michael Moore fans but it was quite random (and surprising) to see that he was staying in the same hotel that we were and on the same weekend.

That night we secretly hoped to pass by him again but of no luck. My husband and I went downstairs so that he could get a drink at the restaurant bar. The bar maid accidentally spilled beer all over his pants and shoes.

In the morning we were offered free breakfast in the hotel since the bar maid soaked (and stained) my husband’s shoes in beer. Free food is free food.

Coincidentally, I stood right behind a GIANT (Michael Moore) in the breakfast buffet line who was heaping himself to lots of eggs and bacon. He had a specialty glass with orange juice and 2 sliced oranges adorning the rim. He was wearing a black t-shirt, sweat pants and an old ratty baseball hat. It felt odd that no one else seemed to recognize who he was. Then again, it seemed like we were the only Americans at this hotel.  My husband hadn't noticed my location yet, when he caught site who I was standing by, he smiled brightly.

Confidently he walked right up to Michael Moore and asked, “So when can I be expecting your next documentary?”.  Michael Moore seemed very enthusiastic that finally someone recognized him. He even pulled us over to the side of the breakfast room and told us that he was in Munich filming a documentary that will be entitled something like “Invade”…forgot the exact title.  His documentary will highlight "Some of the things that Europe does right...and should be incorporated into America (trains, health care etc)" He was quite affable, down-to-earth and actually, rather sweet. He was more than willing to talk to random strangers like us.

I wanted so badly to make a YOUTUBE video where I interviewed Michael Moore but I was too timid to ask. (He actually talked to my husband for quite a while). He was very approachable though and not pretentious or "I'm better than you" in the slightest! Next time I will be more apt to take up this kind of an opportunity, so beware!

OLD PEOPLE, BLAH BLAH BLAH

MY PREDICTIONS ABOUT OLD PEOPLE

“In my opinion there is no aspect of reality beyond the reach of the human mind.”

 Stephen Hawking

For a long time I agreed with many of the current-day populizers of atheism. I thought that abolishing religion and cultivating a world without any religion was the solution to ALL the world’s problems. Though I still find myself agreeing with this sentiment—especially with regards to very problematic ideas like Islam—I’m not sure I have the same anti-religious fervency I once did.  Perhaps I’m just going through a phase. I do tend to wax and wane when it comes to religion.

I see a lot of problems in the world but I think that these issues ultimately stem from inequality. These inequalities that we observe in the human population, across the globe, are not, in my opinion, 100% due to nurture or to one’s environment. Many of the inequalities come, quite frankly, from differences in phenotype which arise from genotype (genetics). The qualities that give some individuals an advantage (and others a disadvantage) are how equipped they are to survive and/or reproduce. An individual’s intelligence, their physical capability, as well as their external façade, will help or hinder their own survival. Besides racial inequalities, I also notice major inequalities between young people and old people.

We need to work towards a world where everyone can have nearly the same opportunities as well as an equal chance at immortality. I think that science is on this pursuit already. It will help diminish the inequalities in society and level the playing field. I predict that along with a chance to become immortal, our external façade—our appearance—can be upgraded. One day, there will be technologies that can integrate with human skin, making it permanently durable. Perhaps organic face masks will be synthesized in the medical field and these can be merged and integrated with the skin of your face, creating an entirely new visage.  The world will one day say goodbye to unattractive faces or to haggard, aged faces. Basically, I think that we humans will integrate with technology--helping us become immortal and also less affected by attrition. 

 In fact, in this world the oldest people (based on the number of years they have lived) will appear just as young and healthy as someone in their 20’s; the difference will be that these older individuals will finally get the respect they deserve.  Not only will these folks appear just as youthful and physically fit as the younger generation, they will have a much deeper wisdom, understanding and knowledge about the world. They will have far more experience and insight to offer the world, to brag about on their resume or to work their way up the corporate ladder.

The younger citizens of earth will no longer be propped on pedestals in society. They won’t be the sensations on the internet, on television, in movies, anchors on Fox news or all over the media. Simply being youthful with symmetrical features and glowing skin will not give you an edge in attaining an acting role or becoming popular. Instead, a person will have to compete with all of the other equally attractive and youthful individuals who have varying levels of talent, originality, creativity, wisdom, intelligence, experience and insight. The people who have lived longer will finally have an edge on the younger generation.

One might be reading this and think—“See, then there are still inequalities in this new society. How bout if everyone could be granted the same IQ…the same mental software? Only then could we abolish inequality between human beings. We could all think and reason with the same efficiency. We could all pull ideas and knowledge out of our memory just as rapidly as the next person.”  This is true, but this doesn't take away from the fact that people who have lived longer have more experience and wisdom than those who haven’t lived as long.

I am excited to think about all the exciting and wonderful things that science can usher into the world!

MAKE PEOPLE LOVE YOU!!!!

Rummaging through my old word-documents and found this gem that I wrote a while ago. Not sure what I was thinking...

1. When you first meet someone, repeatedly refer to them by a catchy nick-name that you thought up yourself despite their insistence that you use their real name.

2. Walk up to a Mother who is having a difficult time with her child and explain to the Mother the “Correct way to parent the child” in a smug manner.  Forget the fact that you’ve never had children yourself.  You’ve had years of experience babysitting.

3. If you suspect someone is feeling down or is in pain, start talking to them in a babyish voice “pretending to sympathize” and say “Oh, I’m soooo sawwie!” Make your sarcasm very apparent.

4. Have an extensive monologue with someone that you meet—don’t allow the person to speak for a moment.  At the end, tell the person “It was great getting to know you!” Sound very enthusiastic.

5. Tell someone that you speak five languages fluently and then proceed to list off the 6 or 7 words that you *actually* know from the five different languages.

6. When you cannot challenge a person’s argument with logic or evidence, attack them as a person or threaten to delete their comment.  If this doesn't get them to stop presenting their evidence, suggest to the person that “They might want to reconsider what you say or else they’ll burn in hell for all eternity.”.  

7. While in a discussion that is getting polarized, tell the other person that they are not an authority on said subject and then proceed to present your opinions in detail about the subject at hand, despite the fact that you, too, have no authority on said subject (i.e you don't have a doctorate either).  You’re lengthy opinionating obviously trumps their lengthy opinionating.

8. Talk about someone’s mistake over and over again to someone else while forgetting the 17 mistakes you made earlier today.

9. After someone makes a mistake, make the comment “Everyone makes mistakes” in that annoying voice. Say it like you think the other person hasn't heard it before.

GOD's LETTER TO STUPID PEOPLE

DEAR FLOCK AND HEATHENS TOO,

THIS IS GOD and I have a message for you today,

 A series of unfortunate events led me to Google’s search bar, where I began typing in “I feel stupid” and “I am stupid” and “I am incompetent”. I was in high hopes that I would find a blog post, article or peer reviewed academic paper deconstructing the idea of stupidity or offering advice for this state of being. Much to my surprise, I came across a copious number of websites calling out my own character as “Stupid”. Unfortunately, I found very few websites where humans were discussing their own stupidity. Humans appear to be rife with narcissism, a self-serving bias and an overconfidence that is repugnant to myself and the angels. Thankfully, I did find at least one website where a young chap was discussing his feelings of stupidity.

The website I found was a yahoo answers chat page. In it, an unidentified commentator was discussing his performance anxiety while working at McDonald’s.  This individual had been demoted from cashier, to “hamburger assembler” and then, all the way down the pecking chain to “floor mopper”. He was lamenting the fact that he was stupid, clumsy and could not multi-task. His working memory was befuddled as it was slammed with multiple orders, numbers and customer complaints. He seemed to be suggesting that he had an inferior brain. Many other commentators were chiming in, detailing their own mental sluggishness and the problems they encountered. One thing became readily clear—it was their stupid brains that were the reason for their stupid actions.  This individual’s post gave rise to an empathetic chorus of like-minded stupidfiles who also joined the forum, all of whom were lamenting their own plight with personal stupidity.

Before I go any farther may I extend a BIG CHEERY greeting to those of you who found this by typing in “I am incompetent” or something similar. There are simply not enough websites addressing the entry “I am stupid” and I’m trying to sink my consciousness into why this might be the case—and perhaps capitalize on it, if such is possible.

Clearly, a lot of people feel deep inside that they are a lower breed of human and possess the reasoning faculties of a squirrel.  They lumber through life, bogged down by a slow processor doing things that make average and above-average folk grimace with pain. No one wants to admit that they are a dolt for fear of the pervasive blight on their reputation; “Once incompetent, always incompetent” as the famous saying goes.  Our research suggests that stating “Slow Learner” on your resume doesn't bode well for job prospects.

While stupid cannot be fixed, it certainly can be embraced. One can learn to live with it and accept it. The idea that comes to mind is “Self Acceptance”.  Smart people accept themselves…but is this really a shock?!? They sit at their privileged platform of high-mindedness with the repository of human knowledge as well as mental machinery that rivals the speed of light.  Smart people accept themselves, quite frankly, because it is easier (they can do it more quickly too).

When you have positive attributes emanating from your identity, it is hard to feel sorry for yourself.  Dolts, on the other hand, are—by definition—labeled by the most negative trait of all. Being stupid is like being a blind, bullied child. You struggle through life; ideas and concepts are not brought to your threshold of awareness as readily as they are to others. You flounder with math—like adding and subtracting single digit numbers with the help of a calculator. Connecting ideas to arrive at a likely conclusion or an answer to a “why question” is difficult because you can’t readily synthesize patterns that are essentially “smack in the face” to everyone else.

In my sermon here I want to make it clear that if you have found this post by typing in the words “I am incompetent” or “I am stupid” just accept it. Sit back and take it in. Realize that you’re doing everything you can do. Like all the rest of us who come from a lineage of stupid people—or, in my case—a lineage of nothing—we have little recourse.

Sometimes just accepting your dire state of sentience is all it takes to feel better and move forward with this dreary yet expensive state of existence. It might be temporarily painful (and mentally torturous) to deal with people who make you feel bad and unworthy for a trait you likely have little control of in the first place—but just take this in.

Jesus received 39 lashes for not doing anything wrong. As a stupid person, you haven’t done anything wrong either but you bear the brunt of society’s blame. Like Jesus, you are modern society’s scapegoat.

 Smart, quick-thinkers hate you because you are slowing them down at the grocery store as you fumble through your pockets looking for a credit card you never signed up for. They hate you at the traffic intersection because you take an extra 1.3 seconds to register “green light” into your slogging mental processor.  Devious marketers can’t stand you because when they employ their unethical sales tactics on your poor brain and beguile your naive soul they have to deal with the future angst of ripping someone like you off.

Finally, I want to tell all stupid people of the world “Do NOT BE DISCOURAGED” for I came to save you, through my computer screen and make you accept yourself.  No, I didn't send my only son to die for your stupidity (I sent him to die for your sins). I just want you to know that I accept you for who you are and am tolerant of your stupidity—you can’t say this for human beings.

After all, If I made you stupid to begin with, what does that say about me? It would be my own error for designing your defective brain and then letting you run freely with it.

Thank you for listening,

Yours Truly,

God