I have GOOD NEWS and BAD NEWS for Christian Proselytizers

My parents keep on trying to push Christianity on me. They do this in the way of sending me Christian pamphlets, tracts, non-stop Bible verse text messages, trying to coax me over the phone with Christian apologetic rhetoric, links to William Lane Craig videos, videos made by Ray Comfort and recently, providing me with a large stack of Christian baby books for my 4 ½ month old.

After about the 500^th time of dealing with these kinds of issues I finally told my Mom over the phone, “I have something really important to tell you”. I said, “I have good news and I have bad news. How about I start with the bad news?  The bad news is that I will probably never reconvert to Christianity again. I’ve been officially vaccinated from this strain of thinking.”

“What’s the good news?” my Mother asked, quizzically. I paused and thought about it for a moment, “I probably won’t become a Mormon or a Scientologist either.”

Smart People MOST Privileged? BRAINS, INTELLIGENCE, IQ THOUGHTS>>>

I have been thinking a lot about IQ lately. Just as there are differences in the memory and processing speeds of computers, the same can be said about human brains. The more I think about it, the more I firmly believe that all of the major differences we observe in the human population are tethered back to the brains involved. This may sound overly simplistic, but the reason why some people generally get ahead in life or are greeted with more respect or make more money is due to the capacity of their brain. Everything comes back to the brains involved. Even social behavior and acting in a socially desirable fashion is linked to IQ. There are exceptions to this rule, but I like to focus on generalities because they are much more predictable.

Smart people can find clever, ingenious strategies to secure and grow wealth. Smart people are more likely to invent things or design companies/businesses that provide in-demand products and services. Individuals with higher IQ’s are more likely to become mathematicians, engineers, physicists and doctors—professions that involve subject matter that is exhaustive, complex, and endlessly changing. These individuals’ minds can handle such operations while people with lower IQ’s are more suited for simple jobs, like being a cashier or a janitor. This said, individuals with average or lower IQ’s can use their creativity to produce art, write books or create businesses that might also be just as financially rewarding.

Another thing about smart individuals is that they are more likely to defer gratification to a later date. Instead of grab the small reward now (E.G. Marshmallow Test), they are willing to wait for the bigger reward later. We can see this with doctors. It takes years, at the very least 12-13 just to become a doctor. Many doctors may have the temptation to quit anywhere along the line of pre-med, medical school, a taxing residency and fellowship to get a more easily achievable job offering them money right now. A doctor not only had to be innately smart to comprehend and use an incredible amount of knowledge, but he/she had to also defer their gratification as they made their way down the long path of education.

 Unfortunately, smart individuals are scarce in our world but this is precisely what makes their value go up. This is especially true in a “free market” or “freer market” society—compared to those societies that are less so.  These smart folks can demand more for their time. We, as a society, value areas of expertise (or products, created with such expertise and innate intelligence) because we all benefit.

 Smart people are more ready and able to efficiently unlock the mysteries of the world, unveiling useful knowledge to the rest of us. Everyone benefits. Intelligent people provide immense value to a technologically advancing population. They figure things out more quickly and they can then offer their products or services on the market more cheaply than an individual who wasn’t as smart in the creation of their product.

Another way I like to think about intelligence is like this: If you have a better computer you have access to more information (either stored on your computer’s hard drive or on the internet) more quickly. This becomes increasingly important in a technologically advanced society—one where the speed and accuracy of information acquisition is crucial.

In the same way, a better brain in terms of memory and processing speed is going to be crucial in a technologically advanced society. Why is a brain with a higher IQ so much better you ask? It is better on a fundamental level because so much more can be done with it.  The reason why Galileo and Newton discovered arcane properties of the universe was precisely because of the superior properties of their brains (at least compared to other contemporary brains that surrounded them). We revel in their accomplishments—these leaps of understanding they brought to human civilization. Really though, we must consider the kinds of unique brains they were beholden with in order to tap into the wonders of the cosmos ourselves.

Future technologies may be based on the underlying circuitry of “intelligent brains” and offer this asset to all of us. Products and services will be designed to assist with “mental enhancement”. I look forward to a bright future with increased time to enjoy life. The only way this is going to happen is if we continue forward with a society that pushes and motivates as MANY bright individuals AS POSSIBLE to contribute their skills and innovations and rewards them abundantly for doing so.

Video, My Baby says "Hi"!

A couple weeks ago I was trying to teach my (then) 3 1/2 month old how to say "Hi"

On March 2, our baby Clementine turned 4 months old. She is a dear sweetheart who is now trying to learn how to say "I love you".

Time is SO Valuable

The biggest, most significant thing I’ve learned since having a baby is the value of time. Time is an extremely important resource. I’ve always recognized this—just so much more now. For brief moments during the day I will check my facebook or learn something online; and this is only because I am lucky enough to have a readily accessible I-Phone at my fingertips.

What I specifically miss most about my pre-child existence was having the time to learn and write. Sure—I was still busy with tons of housework, volunteering at the hospital, yard work and travelling with my husband—and being terribly, terribly nauseas from the pregnancy—but I had MORE TIME. I found myself researching things on the internet, reading, indulging in knowledge…attempting to learn. I guess I never realized what a privilege and luxury it is to have time to learn or sharpen my creative skills. I never thought about the fact that my own Mother had to forego her intellect and (ANY) novel learning activities because she was so busy trying to maintain a household, constantly cleaning up after us, raising us three children—and we were all roughly a year and a half apart. She recently told me that there was a span of about 3 years in the 1980’s where she received less than 2 hours of sleep each night.

As far as not having enough time…the irony is that I now feel like my mind is flooded with great ideas—but at all the wrong moments. I have ideas just spontaneously pierce my consciousness and I think “I need to go and write that idea down so that I can address it in the future” but I almost never have time to even write down the reminder.

I guess I didn’t realize how tough it can be for stay-at-home Moms. I see why women are joining the work-force in mass and dropping their children off at day care, paying someone $12 an hour to raise their children. This is so much easier than having to constantly change diapers and do laundry and deal with vomit all over your clothing—you feel more like a janitor without even the benefits of the pay. These career women even get to maintain their ego—“I have a respectable career and I have a baby!”

My Mom was a stay-at-home Mom.  I see why she wasn’t really able to spend time learning and reading—there is no time to pursue such luxurious, exciting things as knowledge—every second, every fracking moment you are attending to the needs of someone else.

So much of my day is involved in menial tasks that are often repeated several times each hour and the laundry piles up. There are endless diapers and gushes of spit-up all over my clothes and the baby cries a lot too. There is a lot to be thankful for too.

I am so happy and lucky to have such a healthy and sweet baby. She is wonderful! We love her so much!

Super excited! We are on our way to Sicily :)
I really hope I can get a video epilogue

Video: Having fun with My Baby, Video, Pics

These past few months have been CRAZY BUSY! My husband and I are so happy to have our healthy little baby :) I still have a lot of weight to lose but working on it slowly.

P.S. We have tons of trips already planned for this year: Sicily, Malta, Japan, New Orleans etc!

ANXIETY: Stop Saying "TAKE A DEEP BREATH" or "CALM DOWN"

On behalf of those of us who suffer with ANXIETY, do you know what is worse to us than the anxiety?—Being told to “calm down”, “relax” or, my all time favorite, “Take a deep breath”.

I think this woman sums it up quite well in her blog post here http://www.xojane.com/relationships/i-will-not-calm-down-at least in terms of how it effects her when people want to quash her excitability.

My own Thoughts....

But…

 if you’re interested in trolling someone who has anxiety, or, you simply get your spikes of dopamine via sociopathic maneuvers, by all means, go ahead and tell an already-anxious individual to simply “Take a deep breath”.  Problem solved. People with anxiety have never once thought of these suggestions on their own and I’m sure they would appreciate hearing your clever advice.

When interacting with someone who appears funny, “off”, nervous or jittery—or any behavior that isn’t an exact representation of your own behavior, it is always a good idea to point this out to said individual in a public setting and start lecturing. This will put your anxious friend at ease. Make certain that everyone else is aware of this person’s deviant behavior. The person who suffers with anxiety will no doubt feel reassured by your caring, public gesture. Now that more people are glaring at this person, more people can offer their assistance and proceed to tell this person to “relax” or “take a deep breath”. It always helps when more than 2-3 people tell the anxious person the same thing. The more times they hear it, the more likely it will work, right?

You could even step it up a notch and tell your anxious friend, “Go find a corner, count to ten, and then take a deep breath.” People with anxiety always appreciate knowing that you really care. And, even if you were being intentionally patronizing, they would not be able to tell anyways. Never.

I’m only kidding, of course. People who suffer with anxiety are not actually trying to bother you. I know it may seem like it, but they’re not. We do know, however, that our behavior is deeply infuriating to you.  It isn’t, you say? Then why must you keep on commanding us to “Take a deep breath”? It certainly isn’t solving our anxiety. Let me tell you something—your antics are worsening our anxiety, not helping it. We get that you’re a control freak and haven’t expanded your social encounters to approve of those of us who violate what is normal in even the slightest degree. We get it that you’re a Type A, standing for Asshole-Type-Person.

We fully understand that we have our own idiosyncratic personalities. Furthermore, many of us have done everything in our powers to develop mindfulness; a self-aware stance so that we can behave in a manner that puts others at ease. But apparently, after all of these years of self-monitoring…of constant efforts to stay within the straight jacked of normalcy, we have failed.

I’m here to finally say “Knock it Off”. If our composure, mannerisms or the intensity in how we act or express ourselves makes you uncomfortable, then that is your problem, not ours.

I have never once corrected anyone for how they “should” compose themselves—in my entire life. I might argue with ideas or words that are said, but I don’t make commentary on body language. I realize that how people act and compose themselves is largely a product of their brains chemistry and structure. While innate patterns of behavior can be altered and improved upon, many of the individuals who have these patterns are already fully aware that they have them and are making strenuous efforts to overcome them or act in ways that fall within the normal range of acceptable behavior (whatever that is).

The next time someone tells me to “Take a deep breath”, I’m going to tell them “Why don’t you take a deep breath? Why don’t you go to the corner and count to ten?” After all, you’re the one who appears to be affected by me enough to want to manage my behavior and assert your control over me. Next time I won’t even allow your dictates to enter my consciousness and I will ask you “Is everything okay with you? You don’t seem to have any kind of authority on “balance” or “mindfulness” either.

 Commanding someone to “Take a Deep Breath” isn’t helpful. It is equivalent to telling someone to “Calm Down!” or “Lower your Blood Pressure!” Telling someone to calm down has never once helped someone calm down but has instead served to increase their level of agitation. In fact, if you really want to stir up someone’s wrath, just tell them to “Calm down” or “relax” when they are already in a vexed state. Just see what happens…